assalamualaikum semua

warning! ini posting jiwang geli geli. untuk wanita berhati bunga sahaja. lelaki kalau baca, muntah at own risk. tapi bagus juga kalau lelaki baca.. boleh la faham jiwa wanita hati bunga. hahahha

i ni wanita berhati bunga. mak i cakap.. dalam hati ada taman. maksudnya, jiwang dan berjiwa halus. gittewww! tapi jiwang i tak pernah ada boyfriend ok.. jadi ceritanya begini.. umur i dah 25 tahun.. orang kata umur dah sesuai nak kahwin? hahaha. i dulu panic juga la masa kepala i masih dalam ‘kotak’. mesti la panic brooo.. tak pernah ada boyfriend takpe, tapi tapi tak pernah ada orang suka tu yg risau je. sobs ok. at least kekawan i yang takde boyfriend tu ada la jugak orang pernah suka. i takde. mind you, isunya bukan BOYFRIEND ok. harammmm hehe. isunya i risau je takde orang akan suka i forever utk buat i suri di hati nya heheheh (jiwang tak?) i kalau boleh nak orang yg suka i. kalau i tak suka org tu pon takpe.. insyallah i akan suka juga, sebab i kan jiwa lembut? lol *ok hati Allah pegang* i nak suka je terus ajak kahwin. *amboi! mudah sangat ye nicky?!! hehe joke joke.

so isu nya ialah… i wanita hati lembut. dalam semua perkara termasuk soal love love ni. orang flirt dgn i sikit, i dah cair. this part of me i really really hate!

pesanan untuk mat mat mulut manis di luar sana okkk.. in case you tak suka pon perempuan tu, JANGAN EVER flirt flirt dengan dia. sebab kalau dia jenis mmg xde perasaan sempoi takpe… tapi kalau kene dia tu middle age woman yang tengah desperate ke hape ke.. kesian wehhh! dia boleh je percaya dgn ayat ayat sampah you tu. (sampah la kalau you don’t mean it) hati2 ok? being gentleman is ok. but dont overly do it. ni cakap base on experience.. sobsob. lama juga la i nak didik hati ni supaya kebal sikit dgn ayat mat romeo… don’t trust easily. maybe he is THE REAL mat romeo? maybe he was just being a gentleman and you were being too perasan? maybe non of above bcoz it was meant for someone else but he practices the lovey dovey sentences on you?? macam macam beb… kaum wanita pon hati2 ok? tapi member i ada pesan juga… kalau hati2 over sangat nanti ada yg betul2 ikhlas pon you terlepas. omg!! takpe la. jodoh pasti bertemu.. hehe

oh cerita i… i dah tersuka orang cina!!! hahahah. i tak pernah suka cina, tapi kali ni i ter suka jugak. doctor cina ni cool and funny andddd a bit flirty. so guess what? i ter fall sikit la. tapi itu laaa..tak boleh salah kan guys 100%, sebab i tau some girls memang jenis cepat perahsantan. so i tried my hardest to buat lekkk je laa… (wlpon i maybe blushed lol) just another pit stop. tapi my point is I CAN’T BELIEVE I LIKE A CHINESE GUY?! haha padahal i memang ada mix cina. whatever

dah lelaki luar sana. jaga eh? jangan flirt dgn gadis you tak nak kahwin. silap2 gadis tu macam i… kesian dia. and gadis mcm i.. be strong ok? we will find our prince charming one day insyallah. we just have to bear with a little challenges for our fragile heart. eceh!😛

kla bye. nak buat case sheet. sapa nak berkenalan pm je la bapak i. dia garang sikit. mommy i sweet.. lololololol!😀

PS: tajuk i drama sangat kan? hehehhehe. take care people

assalamualaikum!

apa kabar semua pembaca-pembaca ku yg setia?? ecehhh ku bajet ramai pembaca, sebenarnya ku yg baca blog sendiri ulang-ulang hehehe. but in case u guys are wondering.. I’M FINE ALHAMDULLLAH! :)) hopefully you guys are too.. well, we may have a little struggles here and there.. or tremendous amount of difficulties that we have never imagined our whole life but those things only mean that we are still alive.. alhamdulillah.

what a life without some struggles right?

hangpa tau tak? baru-baru ni ku ada la perselisihan faham sikit dengan groupmates.. situasi dia macam, ‘me against the world’. ku la ME tu, depa WORLD. konon laaaa.. kami sama2 ada terbuat silap, tapi aku yg kene blame macam semua salah aku. grrrr! takpe. malas mau panjang lebar kat sini. ku sabar jeee.. kutuk2 dalam hati sikit and dengan housemates lol. tapi teruk jugak la.. dalam 1 minggu lepas pegi hospital hati tak gembira sobs. rasa macam kene pulau. tapi aku buat keras. perghhh lama2, whatever laaa kalau tak nak cakap dgn aku pon. ADA AKAK KESAH? hihi

sabar je. sabar is the key. sabar is the strength. sabar is cool.

bila kene dekat diri sendiri baru laa segala ‘quotes’ yg orang selalu share kt facebook and instagram tu make sense hahaha. betulla. not everyone will like you. and you are not obligate to impress them. you just need to be a better you everyday. kan? kan? kan?? sabarrrr..

lagipun, bila jadi hal-hal conflict ni, baru kita nampak diri sebenar seseorang itu. yang dulunya indah.. rupanya tak la indah sangat. yang dulunya wangi.. rupanya kadang2 busuk. tapi.. surprise, surprise! ada juga yang selama ni difikir kotor rupanya cuma debu yang menyelaputi permata. kamu cuma perlu lihat dengan lebih teliti. jadi, senang je.. don’t judge people! we human are not good at that. never!

dah penat la bebel. moving on…

mana prince charming ni??! joke joke hahaha. lama dah iolss tak tulis post lovey dovey. worry not. i am still a lovey dovey type of person only better at keeping it lol. sekarang dah 25 tahun, kawan baikku, bella of semashur, pon dah nak kahwin. kaksu bagi cadangan.. “nik, kalau ada siapa yg kau berkenan dalam hati, yakin dia baik orangnya.. confess aje! ajak kawen..” wow, that easy? but im not confident. my confidence level when it comes to things like this falls to less than 10%. not confident at all. lagi confident post selfie dari buat confession dkt boyz. *NICKY CAN’T FACE REJECTION* hahahaha.

kalau orang ‘cantik’ lain laa.. tinggal pilih je. orang tak berapa cantik, kene kerja lebih sikit. but again, different people have different difficulties. i might survive in my shoes but not yours. eh tak kesah laaa!!! hahaha. aku tak cakap pon 25 tahun tu dah tua kan? kita enjoyyyy!😛

haa! lupa nak cakap!! exam yang haritu alhamdulillah dah pass!!!! tapi belum officially a doctor lagi. ada satu sem lagiiiiii…. insyallah bulan 11 baru la tamat hihi. doakan ye uolss.

ok dah penat. bye everybody!! take careee.. selamat menjalani ibadah puasa. puasa jangan tak puasa! hehe

assalamualaikum!

wahhhh banyaknya rasa nak update kat sini!! hehehe. saya baru habes exam final mbbs. well, habes exam tapi belom tamat pengajian.. insyallah kalau pass exam ni, lagi 6 bulan graduate la saya sebagai seorang doktor perubatan. insyallah! last post saya mengadu pasal stress stress stresssss kan hahaha.. masa tu posting surgery. memang setiap hari rasa MALAS sangat nak pegi hospital sbb ada sorang doktor ni (Dr Aung of surgery) suka sangatttt kasi markah rendah kat saya setiap kasi presentation. ok sbnrnya dia kasi markah rendah kt semua org tp depa pass after few trials, cuma saya yg tak pass pass sampai dah nk hujung posting. tension wehhhh… so kira cam saya la yg paling byk present dgn Dr tu. semua salah silap ditegur alhamdulillah. setiap kali salah, ulang pembetulan 10 kali lol. rasa mcm tadika, tapi memang ulang sebut sepuluh kali la depan patient. kena ketuk kepala pon pernah! hahaha. tapi rupanyaaa.. yg cikgu dok marah marah ulang sepuluh kali tu la saya ingat dalam exam final ni. yg saya sebut sepuluh kali tu, dgn lancarnya saya sebut time examiner final exam tny.. alhamdulillah! jadi saya tetiba rasa sayanggggg sgt kt Dr Aung!!!! terharuuu.. baru faham. rupanya ni la hikmah disebalik cikgu marah marah. cikgu mmg nak kita belajar. *thanks teachers, u guys are AWESOME!

dan saya juga ingin tekankan sangat pasal keberkatan ilmu. eceh! result belom keluar sebenarnya.. takut jugak nak cakap lebih lebih haha. tapi keberkatan bagi saya sangat penting. ingat tak dulu masa time sekolah.. bila dekat nak exam pmr ke spm ke..kita buat restu guru kan. time tu kemain semua org nanges sungguh sungguh minta guru berkati ilmu hehehe. bila fikir balik pelik juga.. why we-olls nanges?? salam jela kan? LOL. oh the point is.. getting into university does make us a little adult but that doesn’t means adult can disrespect the lecturers. lecturers and teachers serve the same function, therefore WE NEED TO RESPECT BOTH FOR THEIR BLESSING. walaupon rasa diri dah besar bila kt university, jangan la malas pegi kelas. walaupun tak faham apa yg lecturer tu ajar kt depan… just keep calm and stay in the class. jangan mengumpat lecturer! majlis ilmu penuh keberkatan kottt.. saya ni bukan la jenis pandai sangat. pegi kelas dengar lecturer ajar pon kdg2 tak faham apa. balik rumah baca balik pon tak faham lagi.. tapi saya pegi jugak setiap kelas sbb saya yakin ada keberkatan kat situ. dan pada suatu hari time study week haritu.. saya serba salah samaada nak habeskan baca buku yg masih byk belom cover ke pegi kelas ortho yg Dr rao sanggup buat khas utk ktorg.. last2 saya pilih pergi kelas. dr rao rupanya ajar benda yg sama je.. nothing new. tapi time exam haritu.. alhamdulillah Allah gerakkan hati saya utk baca satu tajuk ni before p exam and tup tup tajuk tu yg masuk.. alhamdulillah!! masih fresh di kepala.. boleh la tulis dengan lajunya haha. alhamdulillah. saya rasa mungkin sebab keberkatan dan memang rezeki saya alhamdulillah..

begitu jela. jadi manusia ni ada banyak ujian. kalau kita rasa ujian kita paling teruk, ada orang yg lagi teruk dan bersabarlah dan hadapi dengan tabah. kita mesti aim untuk jadi manusia yg berguna. kalau tak mampu menyumbang pd dunia, pada negara pon ok, kalau xleh negara, family je pon cukup dah.. kalau rasa tak berguna jugak pada family, at least kita jangan la spoil kan diri kita. kita usaha yg terbaik, itu dah cukup bagus sgt sgt! *ni peringatan untuk diri saya sbnrnya… saja share kot2 uolss pon can benefit. ok la, jaga diri semua! semoga Allah rahmati kita semua. amin!! bye

ps- doakan saya pass exam super final ni!!!!🙂

warning,

INI POST TENTANG STRESS

hi semua! apa khabar? minta maaf saya jarang update. mungkin sibuk atau mungkin saya lebih banyak bercerita dengan hati sendiri. selalunya saya update kalau stress dah tak boleh bendung hahaha. jadi sekarang saya stress. SUPER STRESS. peperiksaan akhir lagi sebulan.. masih banyak lagi tak baca. saya pulak bukan la ‘bright’ student seperti yg diharap-harapkan oleh semua lecturer ke atas setiap anak muridnya.. saya sedar saya sangat-sangat biasa. saya langsung tak ada kelebihan. kelebihan pandai cepat tangkap tak ada. kelebihan muka manis mulut manis tak ada. kelebihan membodek tak ada. kelebihan rajin tak ada. pandai sukan pon tidak. petah berkata-kata pon tak seberapa. apa pon tak ada. biasa. terlalu biasa. saya cuma berjuang sehabis baik untuk berjaya. mungkin itu saja lah kelebihan saya.. berjuang walaupun dengan susah payah tercungap-cungap sampai orang semua nak tentang masuk longkang dan tak akan putus asa. #siscuba

sekarang posting surgery. entah kenapa posting surgery membuatkan saya rasa betul-betul bodoh luar biasa. rasanya setiap hari saya akan baca buku sampai lewat malam. setiap hari juga saya tak pernah ponteng dari sesi pengajian di hospital. memang la saya bukan jenis rajin sangat macam pelajar-pelajar kesayangan lecturer semua tu.. tapi saya tahu saya sentiasa berusaha sehabis baik. setiap hari ke hospital.. saya akan berjumpa patient, ambil sejarah kesihatan mereka, lakukan pemeriksaan fizikal keatas mereka.. saya buat. semua saya buat. tapi bila saya persembahkan pada lecturer… pasti ada sahaja yang mereka tak suka sampai saya nak keluarkan satu perkataan pun saya fikir sepuluh kali. kadang-kadang saya terfikir, mereka ni tak suka presentation saya ke tak suka saya? saya ni buruk sangat ke?? baiklah mungkin masih banyak yg saya harus belajar.. mestilah, belajar mana boleh habis sampai mati. tapi.. kalau sahaja lecturer itu boleh melihat usaha saya dan berhenti mengeluarkan kata-kata yang menyebabkan saya rasa terlalu tak berguna dan bodoh dan bahaya kepada pesakit.. kan bagus. kalau sahaja mereka tahu bahawa kawan-kawan saya yg cemerlang itu sebenarnya ramai dah mengubah-suai sejarah pesakit agar persembahan mereka nanti kedengaran lebih gah di sisi lecturer. kalau saja lecturer nampak dan menilai semua itu… mungkin saya takkan kelihatan begitu bodoh di mata mereka..

tapi sekarang tak mengapalah. saya sudah sedar.. apa lah gunanya jika saya cemerlang tapi tidak belajar apa-apa. kutukan demi kutukan dari lecturer telah membuatkan saya sedar bahawa saya perlu berusaha dengan lebih gigih dan bukan untuk mendapat pengiktirafan dari sesiapa kecuali Allah. Allah maha adil. Allah kira usaha dan saya hanya perlu mengagumkan Allah. saya juga sedar bahawa nak menjadi doktor bukan senang.

great power comes with great responsibility!

jadi walaupon sudah beberapa hari berduka lara, insyallah saya tidak akan berputus asa! saya boleh!! saya takkan biarkan sesiapa pon merendah-rendahkan semangat saya. *you can say it but cant break it. adiosss!

ps- tolong doakan saya dan rakan-rakan berjaya dlm exam p2s2! amin!!!

Assalamualaikum!

Hi guys. I have good tips to share with you when you’re feeling down or miserable.

So here goes…

Pray- tell God how you feel. Ask God to make things better or make you stronger to solve the misery

Talk- talking to God is to me.. the best therapy but living in society, we can’t just ignore people. Some people were sent to hurt you but most of them are to love you.. Therefore odds can’t always be in your favour.. you can’t be so out of norm provided nothing is wrong with the norm. So surely you need to talk to someone when you have problems. Think nobody understand you?… sometimes yes but talking helps. At least you let it gooo.. Don’t keep everything to yourself because you don’t want to end up in a psychiatry ward or do you? Lol. So talk to someone whom you trust ok. It helps really. Tell them your problem and concern.. sometime people do understand and they can offer solutions.

Work- I mean don’t just sit and pray and hope things will turn out fine. Work for the solution. If you think nothing that you’ve tried works… well try working on something unrelated.. at least that will help you forget your problems. Especially when it comes to lovey dovey matters haha. Well they say time can heal.. so while killing time, work! Hihihi

Ok la. Im no psychiatrist. Just another person with some struggle. Bye! Take care

Ps- currently in psychiatry posting

It didn’t end with happy ending. It didn’t end so bad either. It ends normal.

Ps- thanks

disclaimer: not my writing. im sooooo in love with this article that i hv to share it here with you. no wait. more like… with the future ME ^^

***

I had that feeling once. Or rather, it was a never-ending feeling, constant, always there. Eating away at my soul, at my sanity, at me. I thought it was normal, that everyone felt this way. This is what they call the pain of separation, right? But separation from whom? And if we reunite, will it be gone? Do you know that feeling, that aching emptiness?

Hopefully, I can express it in words.

It is that feeling that you get when you see someone you absolutely love, and want to run into his or her arms. The craving for a hug that makes all the pain go away. Except, I could not see him. Who was he? Where could I find him? I needed his hug but he was not there to give it to me. No, it’s not that he wasn’t there—there was a barrier between us—keeping us separated. And so the pain of that separation only increased. Is this starting to make sense? Are you starting to feel it within your soul?

I don’t know… I just hope I can express it in words.

It took me time to realize the solution. I had to break the wall, but it takes more than just the power of a hammer. It takes more than the power of a bulldozer. You cannot break the wall by beating it down with anything of this world. It takes tools that are stronger than you can carry. It takes tools that are brighter than you can see. It takes tools that you have never laid eyes on, at least not yet. I stood at that wall for so long. I had nothing, nothing, but my bare hands and naked feet. I stood there, not knowing how to break the wall. So I placed two palms on it, felt its cold, spiritless texture, and began to do the only thing I could think of doing. I banged my head against it. Why my head? Who do such a crazy thing? Well, because my head housed my brain, my `aql, the thing I think with. It was the most powerful thing that I had—or so I thought. And so I banged my head against the wall, hoping and praying that it would break down, crumble, collapse.

But it didn’t.

I began to bruise, to break, and to bleed.

I began to crumble and collapse within myself. I tried so hard, and I just wanted a hug. One hug. Why could I not do it? I looked everywhere for a solution. I looked to the top of that hard brick wall, could I climb it? No, my feet would slip and my hands would blister. I looked to the left, hoping I could see where the wall ends, but it went on as far as my little eyes could see. I began to give up hope, knowing that I could never make it to that man who carried the hug that would make it all better. I gave up hope, so I did the only thing that my body would let me do: I hit the ground on my knees, then my forehead. And then, for an instant, there was peace. And then, for an instant, I could hear a whisper. And that whisper is the one very important thing that I really hope, for you and for me, that I can express in words.

I almost didn’t hear it, because it was ever so faint. You have something stronger. You have something stronger. Stronger than what? What could this whisper be talking about? You have something stronger than the bruised and bloodied head that you have been banging against the wall. You have something stronger. I began to think about what this could possibly mean. What could possibly be stronger than that brain of mine that I had been using to guide me in every which direction? What could it be? And then I heard the whisper confirm my biggest fear: You have your heart. The one thing I did not want to use.

My hand flew to my chest. No, no, no. This cannot be it. This cannot be what I have to use. I decided long ago that this heart had been hurt too much, had been shattered too many times, and it would never be used again. Whenever I used that piece of flesh within, I became vulnerable. I gave it away too easily, to the wrong people, and it never recovered. I began to shake my head violently, tears splattering with every shake. And then I heard the voice, louder this time, and much more soothing: Shh. Settle down. Trust me, this time is different. It only hurts when you give it to the wrong person. Your heart is greater than that. Your heart was meant to contain only greatness, so do not settle for anything less. I breathed in deeply, and let the air out from between my lips. Again I breathed in, allowing the fear and the sorrow to be expelled on the way out. I lifted my head and looked around for the next step. And then I saw what was about to come.

Man oh man, I hope I can express it in words.

It was to the far right; I had given up before gazing in that direction. It was a door, a real door in the brick wall. My first thought was that it was a joke, or maybe some weird mirage. Maybe someone was playing a trick on me. But then I realized, that was my brain talking, so I told it to be quiet. Hush, brain. This is a job for the heart. I listened to my heart and it urged me, ever so quietly, to tread on. I walked to the door with wobbly legs, feeling pain throughout my body with every step. I was so tired. So tired. My brain told me to give up, that it was just too much for my body to bear, but my heart said to keep on, and so I did. I reached for the door, and turned the knob. I turned it to the left, then to the right. It would not budge.

It. Was. Locked.

I fell to the ground sobbing. How could it be locked? How could it not open? What is the only thing worse than having no hope at all? Finally having the strongest hope that something will work, and then having that hope snatched away in a split second. The door was locked. But as I sobbed between gasps for air, I heard my heart once again: The lock. You just need to unlock the lock.

I settled down again, thinking with my heart about what could possibly open this door of doors. I began to think, and to think and to think. And then I heard it, my heart of hearts saying the most profound words I had ever heard: Sali `ala annabi (Say, “Peace be upon the Prophet ﷺ”).

Come again?

Sali `ala annabi.

And so I did. And as the words came out of my mouth, I did not even have to reach for the knob. The door slid open, and the light poured forth. I got up, and ran in with my wobbly feet and my disheveled look. I saw him there in the middle, smiling, like I knew he would be. I wrapped my arms around him, and he hugged me. He hugged me. A hug that melted every evil thought, every broken heart, every hurtful word, every negative feeling, away. Far, far away. And he did not let go. He just hugged me, and let me cry until I was done. And then I looked at him, trying to see him, but instead only seeing light. And I heard his blessed voice telling me: Now that you have come through the right door, and handed me your heart: rise. Rise to your Lord, and I will accompany you on your journey.

Allahuma salli `ala Sayidna Muhammad wa `ala aali Sayidna Muhammad wa salim tasleeman katheera. Wa salim tasleeman katheera.

(May God send peace upon the Prophet and the family of the Prophet and grant peace, many times over. And grant peace, many times over. )

credit to : Reehab Ramadan ( http://www.virtualmosque.com/personaldvlpt/reflections/hopefully-i-can-express-it-in-words/)

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