Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you’d fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you


assalamualaikum. hi. how everyone is doing? im ok. i am now a government servant, a doctor (finally) working in hospital raja permaisuri bainun, ipoh. yeahhh i can’t understand why ipoh too?! i have regretted my decision a few times but now I’m ok. ‘ok’ seems like a very simple word to summarize everything that has messed up but nothing can be changed about it and the only solution is to go through strong till the end. so yeah.. im ok. its a STRONG motivational word too! IM OKKKKK

don’t get me wrong. I’m really ok. 2 weeks of working has thought me how people can be so selfish and mean in desperate situation. how seniority gives someone power to think that they are so above everyone else. how knowledge should humbled someone and saved someone’s life. and lots more! most of all i learnt that people are just people.. we are not perfect and first impression is never accurate.

i must learn to control anger. actually there has been lots of occasions where i almost feel like kicking someone in the ass for being such an asshole but then i realize i need to change some things about my self too. like learn patience.. and patience and also patience. fuhhh!

it has been only 2 weeks guys!!!! im ok i mean okkkk but pls pls pls pray for me. thank you! dulu jealous tengok doctor kerja skrg aku jealous tengok medical student clerking case in the morning.. waiting for their professor to come and present because i know no matter how hard dia kene ‘bamboo’ balik rumah or hostel they still hv their friends to talk to and go out for dinner later and have some funnnnnnnn.. *manusia ni mmg tak pernah bersyukur kan? lol

its ok. nothing last forever. i can survive this insyallah! pray for me people. all the best too!


How does a moment last forever?
How can a story never die?
It is love we must hold onto
Never easy, but we try
Sometimes our happiness is captured
Somehow, our time and place stand still
Love lives on inside our hearts and always will

Minutes turn to hours, days to years and gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on

Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect
Maybe some memories not so sweet
But we have to know some bad times
Or our lives are incomplete
Then when the shadows overtake us
Just when we feel all hope is gone
We’ll hear our song and know once more
Our love lives on

How does a moment last forever?
How does our happiness endure?
Through the darkest of our troubles
Love is beauty, love is pure
Love pays no mind to desolation
It flows like a river through the soul
Protects, persists, and perseveres
And makes us whole

Minutes turn to hours, days to years then gone
But when all else has been forgotten
Still our song lives on
How does a moment last forever:
When our song lives on

-Celine Dion-


How is everyone doing? i hope things are great around you but if it turns out opposite, i pray that Allah give you the most powerful strength to face it. me? i’m good alhamdulillah. sorry i have abandoned this site for so long. i may not have many followers and this blog is not at all entertaining but i still hope whoever spend some times reading will at least benefit something hehe. so here goes!!

first, a little update about myself.. i’m no longer a medical student. *yeeehaaa!! finished my study in november last year (2016). currently just stay at home learning how to cook, how to clean the house and every possible things a housewife should know. no no.. don’t get me wrong.. not a preparation for anything. i’m just trying to make myself more… woman. 😛

i have received my SPA interview date. its in february.. so guess what im doing now? blogging. urghhhh.. its hard to get the momentum to study. its like starting all over again. honestly speaking, im terrified. not for the interview but for the world im going to face later. for the people im about to meet later in life. *welcome to adulthood nicky! i heard the world out there is not all ‘candy and ice cream’.. life can be so mean to people and people become mean to each other. is it??? i hope in time of desperation, when i’m in great stress, and the whole world is against me, God will send me the most loving and compassionate people to remind me to be strong. Housemanship is the toughest time in a doctor’s life they say. i’m not strong nor tough. i always want my mama when things turn upside down. but i pray that those hard time in medical school can be a reminder to me how i have survived and how i will survive! insyallah!! pray for me people.

papa wants me to do my housemanship somewhere not too near but not too far from home because they say if you do your housemanship near hometown, chances are you’ll be kicked out faraway afterward. But the funny thing is, my dad doesn’t mind if the hospital is close to the airport a.k.a sarawak general houspital!! dikya had this crazy idea that we can just do our housemanship near and get married ASAP and settle down in time so the government can’t send us away from our husband.. which i think is a lot funnier. BILA MASA NAK KAHWIN OI

yeahh. talking about marriage.. lots of friends are getting married. here, there, everywhere! i’m just here.. ‘potato-ing’. sometimes i really don’t feel like going to their reception but ughhh we must follow the social norm. no? ok kidding. hopefully soon i can write here.. HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT? I’M MARRIED! SORRY FOR NOT INVITING. hahahhahaha

i’m not ready for adulthood! but if i’m to be ready.. i will never be. so.. just bring it on!! i will try to handle it with care. if you have the same fear, lets pray people! pray for strength and wisdom.

ok done crapping i guess. hope i bore you to sleep. may Allah bless you and your family and see you guys here in gazillion years! take care xoxo


assalamualaikum semua

warning! ini posting jiwang geli geli. untuk wanita berhati bunga sahaja. lelaki kalau baca, muntah at own risk. tapi bagus juga kalau lelaki baca.. boleh la faham jiwa wanita hati bunga.

i ni wanita berhati bunga. mak i cakap.. dalam hati ada taman. maksudnya, jiwang dan berjiwa halus. gittewww! tapi jiwang i tak pernah ada boyfriend ok.. jadi ceritanya begini.. umur i dah 25 tahun.. orang kata umur dah sesuai nak kahwin? i dulu panic juga la masa kepala i masih dalam ‘kotak’. mesti la panic brooo.. tak pernah ada boyfriend takpe, tapi tak pernah ada orang suka tu yg risau je. at least kekawan i yang takde boyfriend tu ada la jugak orang pernah suka. i takde. mind you, isunya bukan BOYFRIEND ok. harammmm. isunya ialah i risau je takde orang akan suka i forever utk buat i suri di hati nya. ewah! i kalau boleh nak orang yg suka i. kalau i tak suka org tu pon takpe.. insyallah i akan suka juga, sebab i kan jiwa lembut? kah kah kah. i nak kalau suka je, terus ajak kahwin! *amboi! confident!! ok side joke.

so isu nya ialah… i wanita hati lembut. dalam semua perkara termasuk soal lovey dovey ni. orang flirt dgn i sikit,  cair. this part of me i really really hate!

pesanan untuk mat mat mulut manis di luar sana.. in case you tak suka pon perempuan tu, JANGAN EVER flirt dengan dia. sebab kalau dia jenis mmg xde perasaan sempoi takpe… tapi kalau kene dia tu middle age woman yang tengah desperate ke hape ke.. kesian weh! dia boleh je percaya dgn ayat ayat sampah you tu.. sampah la kalau you don’t mean it. hati2 ok? being gentleman is ok. but dont over do it. ni cakap base on experience.. lama juga la i nak didik hati ni supaya kebal sikit dgn ayat mat romeo… don’t trust easily. maybe he is THE REAL mat romeo? maybe he was just being a gentleman and you were being too perasan? maybe non of above bcoz it was meant for you?? macam macam beb… kaum wanita pon hati2 ok? tapi member i ada pesan juga… kalau hati2 over sangat nanti ada yg betul2 ikhlas pon you terlepas. omg!! takpe la. jodoh pasti bertemu! insyallah

oh cerita i… i dah tersuka orang cina!!!  i tak pernah suka cina, tapi kali ni i ter suka jugak. doctor cina ni cool and funny andddd a bit flirty. so guess what? i ter fall sikit la. tapi itu laaa..tak boleh salah kan guys 100%, sebab i tau some girls memang jenis cepat perahsantan. so i tried my hardest to buat lekkk je laa… (wlpon i maybe blushed a little) ok, just another pit stop. tapi my point is I CAN’T BELIEVE I LIKE A CHINESE GUY?! haha padahal i memang ada mix cina. whatever

dah lelaki luar sana. jaga eh? jangan flirt dgn gadis you tak nak kahwin. silap2 gadis tu macam i… kesian dia. and gadis mcm i.. be strong ok? we will find our prince charming one day insyallah. we just have to bear with a little challenges for our fragile heart. eceh! 😛

kla bye. nak buat case sheet. sapa nak berkenalan pm je la bapak i. dia garang sikit tp baik hati. mommy i sweet.. dia tazzabar nk dpt menantu -.-

PS: tajuk i drama sangat kan? hehehhehe. take care people


apa kabar semua pembaca-pembaca ku yg setia?? ecehhh ku bajet ramai pembaca, sebenarnya ku yg baca blog sendiri ulang-ulang hehehe. but in case u guys are wondering.. I’M FINE ALHAMDULLLAH! :)) hopefully you guys are too.. well, we may have a little struggles here and there.. or tremendous amount of difficulties that we have never imagined our whole life but those things only mean that we are still alive.. alhamdulillah.

what a life without some struggles right?

hangpa tau tak? baru-baru ni ku ada la perselisihan faham sikit dengan groupmates.. situasi dia macam, ‘me against the world’. ku la ME tu, depa WORLD. konon laaaa.. kami sama2 ada terbuat silap, tapi aku yg kene blame macam semua salah aku. grrrr! takpe. malas mau panjang lebar kat sini. ku sabar jeee.. kutuk2 dalam hati sikit and dengan housemates lol. tapi teruk jugak la.. dalam 1 minggu lepas pegi hospital hati tak gembira sobs. rasa macam kene pulau. tapi aku buat keras. perghhh lama2, whatever laaa kalau tak nak cakap dgn aku pon. ADA AKAK KESAH? hihi

sabar je. sabar is the key. sabar is the strength. sabar is cool.

bila kene dekat diri sendiri baru laa segala ‘quotes’ yg orang selalu share kt facebook and instagram tu make sense hahaha. betulla. not everyone will like you. and you are not obligate to impress them. you just need to be a better you everyday. kan? kan? kan?? sabarrrr..

lagipun, bila jadi hal-hal conflict ni, baru kita nampak diri sebenar seseorang itu. yang dulunya indah.. rupanya tak la indah sangat. yang dulunya wangi.. rupanya kadang2 busuk. tapi.. surprise, surprise! ada juga yang selama ni difikir kotor rupanya cuma debu yang menyelaputi permata. kamu cuma perlu lihat dengan lebih teliti. jadi, senang je.. don’t judge people! we human are not good at that. never!

dah penat la bebel. moving on…

mana prince charming ni??! joke joke hahaha. lama dah iolss tak tulis post lovey dovey. worry not. i am still a lovey dovey type of person only better at keeping it lol. sekarang dah 25 tahun, kawan baikku, bella of semashur, pon dah nak kahwin. kaksu bagi cadangan.. “nik, kalau ada siapa yg kau berkenan dalam hati, yakin dia baik orangnya.. confess aje! ajak kawen..” wow, that easy? but im not confident. my confidence level when it comes to things like this falls to less than 10%. not confident at all. lagi confident post selfie dari buat confession dkt boyz. *NICKY CAN’T FACE REJECTION* hahahaha.

kalau orang ‘cantik’ lain laa.. tinggal pilih je. orang tak berapa cantik, kene kerja lebih sikit. but again, different people have different difficulties. i might survive in my shoes but not yours. eh tak kesah laaa!!! hahaha. aku tak cakap pon 25 tahun tu dah tua kan? kita enjoyyyy! 😛

haa! lupa nak cakap!! exam yang haritu alhamdulillah dah pass!!!! tapi belum officially a doctor lagi. ada satu sem lagiiiiii…. insyallah bulan 11 baru la tamat hihi. doakan ye uolss.

ok dah penat. bye everybody!! take careee.. selamat menjalani ibadah puasa. puasa jangan tak puasa! hehe


wahhhh banyaknya rasa nak update kat sini!! hehehe. saya baru habes exam final mbbs. well, habes exam tapi belom tamat pengajian.. insyallah kalau pass exam ni, lagi 6 bulan graduate la saya sebagai seorang doktor perubatan. insyallah! last post saya mengadu pasal stress stress stresssss kan hahaha.. masa tu posting surgery. memang setiap hari rasa MALAS sangat nak pegi hospital sbb ada sorang doktor ni (Dr Aung of surgery) suka sangatttt kasi markah rendah kat saya setiap kasi presentation. ok sbnrnya dia kasi markah rendah kt semua org tp depa pass after few trials, cuma saya yg tak pass pass sampai dah nk hujung posting. tension wehhhh… so kira cam saya la yg paling byk present dgn Dr tu. semua salah silap ditegur alhamdulillah. setiap kali salah, ulang pembetulan 10 kali lol. rasa mcm tadika, tapi memang ulang sebut sepuluh kali la depan patient. kena ketuk kepala pon pernah! hahaha. tapi rupanyaaa.. yg cikgu dok marah marah ulang sepuluh kali tu la saya ingat dalam exam final ni. yg saya sebut sepuluh kali tu, dgn lancarnya saya sebut time examiner final exam tny.. alhamdulillah! jadi saya tetiba rasa sayanggggg sgt kt Dr Aung!!!! terharuuu.. baru faham. rupanya ni la hikmah disebalik cikgu marah marah. cikgu mmg nak kita belajar. *thanks teachers, u guys are AWESOME!

dan saya juga ingin tekankan sangat pasal keberkatan ilmu. eceh! result belom keluar sebenarnya.. takut jugak nak cakap lebih lebih haha. tapi keberkatan bagi saya sangat penting. ingat tak dulu masa time sekolah.. bila dekat nak exam pmr ke spm ke..kita buat restu guru kan. time tu kemain semua org nanges sungguh sungguh minta guru berkati ilmu hehehe. bila fikir balik pelik juga.. why we-olls nanges?? salam jela kan? LOL. oh the point is.. getting into university does make us a little adult but that doesn’t means adult can disrespect the lecturers. lecturers and teachers serve the same function, therefore WE NEED TO RESPECT BOTH FOR THEIR BLESSING. walaupon rasa diri dah besar bila kt university, jangan la malas pegi kelas. walaupun tak faham apa yg lecturer tu ajar kt depan… just keep calm and stay in the class. jangan mengumpat lecturer! majlis ilmu penuh keberkatan kottt.. saya ni bukan la jenis pandai sangat. pegi kelas dengar lecturer ajar pon kdg2 tak faham apa. balik rumah baca balik pon tak faham lagi.. tapi saya pegi jugak setiap kelas sbb saya yakin ada keberkatan kat situ. dan pada suatu hari time study week haritu.. saya serba salah samaada nak habeskan baca buku yg masih byk belom cover ke pegi kelas ortho yg Dr rao sanggup buat khas utk ktorg.. last2 saya pilih pergi kelas. dr rao rupanya ajar benda yg sama je.. nothing new. tapi time exam haritu.. alhamdulillah Allah gerakkan hati saya utk baca satu tajuk ni before p exam and tup tup tajuk tu yg masuk.. alhamdulillah!! masih fresh di kepala.. boleh la tulis dengan lajunya haha. alhamdulillah. saya rasa mungkin sebab keberkatan dan memang rezeki saya alhamdulillah..

begitu jela. jadi manusia ni ada banyak ujian. kalau kita rasa ujian kita paling teruk, ada orang yg lagi teruk dan bersabarlah dan hadapi dengan tabah. kita mesti aim untuk jadi manusia yg berguna. kalau tak mampu menyumbang pd dunia, pada negara pon ok, kalau xleh negara, family je pon cukup dah.. kalau rasa tak berguna jugak pada family, at least kita jangan la spoil kan diri kita. kita usaha yg terbaik, itu dah cukup bagus sgt sgt! *ni peringatan untuk diri saya sbnrnya… saja share kot2 uolss pon can benefit. ok la, jaga diri semua! semoga Allah rahmati kita semua. amin!! bye

ps- doakan saya pass exam super final ni!!!! 🙂